my response to that is both profound and meaningful

I read a fable the other day, and I'm afraid to report that it was absolutely horrid. Badly in need of repair. Worth no more than a harlequin. Worth no more than a third of a harlequin, even.

Quite awful, in summary.

So I've rewritten it. Mind, it's no literary masterpiece, but it's an age away from the dregs I drug it out of.

Ahem.

Once upon a time there was a fox who thought he was quite a clever and entertaining creature. Foxes are known to be such, so there was no reason for him not to believe it, but one supposes he ought to have had this checked before he attempted his foxy maneuvers.

Alas, he did not, and upon a certain day, the fox found himself at a dinner party with a snake, a hound, and an owl.

"My", the fox exclaimed with a show of his sharp teeth. "What a lovely dinner you've provided me with!" The snake showed his fangs likewise, and asked why the fox wasn't eating, might it not be to his palate? It wasn't really a lovely dinner at all, considering the venom in the dishes.

"My", the fox exclaimed with a hungry lick of his snout. "What lovely company you've provided me with!" The hound, who had once liked the fox a great deal, only nodded sullenly. It wasn't really lovely company at all, but it would be impolite to say such and blatantly ruin the mood.

"My", the fox exclaimed with a false, cheery voice. "What a lovely conversation you've provided me with!" The owl looked up from his notes and his ledgers, the sort that detailed everything that might be known on foxes, and blinked. It wasn't really a lovely conversation at all, seeing the fox was mainly chattering mindlessly and the snake playing along.

In the end, it was a rather boring dinner party. It had a rather boring guest of honor, after all.

And there you have it. Why, I can almost hear the nursemaids using this one on the next generation of babes. I kept it quite a clean story for their sake.

[The first thing visible on the video is... that scrap of paper from an earlier post. Only this time, some of the "items" are crossed out, and one has been added.]

[1] secretary
[1] monocle (left)
[1] dark horse
[1] bunny
[1] bunny owner
[1] tiny knight

[The sign is pulled away, to reveal a white-haired man busy... munching on the last of what was a millefeuille with strawberries. Licking a finger absently, he tosses the paper away.]

I merely wished to begin with expressing my disappointment- a list is a sad thing when left incomplete, you understand. But a man can only be given so much before he begins to take advantage, I suppose.

[A shrug, and another pastry comes in to view with a grope of fingers off-screen and a slide of plate. A citrus tart. Which begins to meet the fate of its predecessor.]

However, I did have a question for the populace at large. Isn't that what these quaint devices are for? Public communique and such like?

Citizens come and go, I'm told, and sometimes come more than once.

Do you think those people imposters? [Yes, he is still munching between words. No, he doesn't care about manners.] The same person? Alternate realities, that type of nonsense...

[He picks up this plate and seems to contemplate it for a moment before he tosses the plate carelessly. No sound- maybe it didn't break? A coffee cake is dragged before him next, topped with white chocolate.]

The same goes for the lot of you, you know. I suppose this could all be an elaborate coma dream. Perhaps I rolled out of bed and hit my head? My, the possibilities.

[He... just licked the plate.]

But. I think not.

♞ Open [Video] Filter;

[The device clatters to the ground, accompanied by a harsh breath, a hand coming in to view. Seemingly blind groping about ensues, an effort that is somewhat hampered by the... flowers. Everywhere.]

- amnit.

[Unaware the device is on, the hand finally gets a hold of the device, and a flash of pale hair, a smudge of blood on pale skin is visible. Those who know him might recognize the man, but to anyone else- he's just that. Some man.]

Of all times-

[But it turns in to a wet cough, just before the feed cuts out due to his switch to private connections.]

( FILTERED MESSAGES ♞ OZ, GILBERT )

[ooc; Back in action and canon-updated to Retrace 57! Open to action!]

I wonder what it is we're here for, hmm?

Is it Hell? I wonder about that. Or perhaps a prison, such as the Abyss... only with a few more amenities.

I don't suppose one of those so-called deities would like to grace us with an answer?

No- I thought not.

Perhaps those who lost their memories should be angry to have received them back. Don't they say? "Ignorance is bliss".

Don't make me laugh.

Time truly gets ahead of you in a place like this...

And it seems like it's still never enough... you know? I may not be around very much longer... but I still have time to spend with my important people.

Oz... Gilbert... Sharon... even Elliot...

You're all quite precious to me, you know. And I've been so neglectful... as if holding myself back will make it hurt less when the time comes...

Let's put that behind us.

Oz, have Elliot join you and I'll teach you a few things about swordsmanship. You'd like that, no? Gilbert, surely there's something left for an old man like me to impart? And Sharon... won't you join me for tea this afternoon?

I have a lot to make up for.

[ooc; cursed with Parents Day something fierce]

( FILTERED MESSAGES ♞ SHARON, OZ, GILBERT )

♞ Open [Video] Filter;

Why, so many visitors! Tearful reunions and bitter enemies and all sorts of squabble.

I don't suppose anyone's seen any ugly black cat fellows running about... ? Come out, come out, wherever you are...

I suppose we should host salon in case those of our world show up...

I do hope they bring tea and pastries with them.

[ooc; anything and everything goes!]

Ahahaaa, this is ironic, truly. To think they'd tear my soul out of my body in such a... vocal creature. Am I supposed to be able to talk back to myself?

Sssomeone needs to keep you in line besidesss that poor girl. Don't get mad at me for being the mature one between usss.

Calling me immature- ! It's not nice, you know. As punishment, you'll have to carry Emily around all day!

If you put that doll on me, I ssshall eat it, you overgrown brat. Act your age, or I ssshall tell everyone what it is.

... Don't be a traitor, Aesis.

[ooc; Dæmon Day! Apartment mates, don't be surprised if this snake slithers by today- though it will mostly be on Break's shoulder. Backdated to before midnight whoops!]

( Private Filter; [The Brat, the Right Eye, and Bea Rabbit] )

Really, it's so disappointing to see you all bragging in such a shameless way. Only those with something to prove tout their own abilities so loudly. What is it... ?

Their barks are worse than their bites

Oh, yes. Thank you, Emily. Well said. I really can't respect anyone with such a disgusting habit~

[ooc; backdated a little bit- pride affected]

[See Xerxes Break. See Xerxes Break flipping through what looks like an accounting ledger of some sorts, and counting out coins. ... A lot of coins. For those familiar with the City's monetary system, there's several months of apartment rent in there.]

Hmm, how true are these fortunes going to turn out to be, I wonder? It was so nice they provided one for me, too.

[He waves a small fortune paper slip around- and those with particularly keen vision might note that there are some raised portions on the paper beneath the words, though from this distance, even those would be hard to read.]

I can't say I'm very grateful, though. Do forgive me~

On to business. Gilbert?

[He sweeps the coins in to a pouch and jingles it]

Would this cover the cost for a bit of human trafficking?